This post will be me talking myself off the ledge. As usual. Enjoy!
But y’all… women are crazy!! Our brains are just wired so complicated that we give ourselves a headache sometimes…
I know it’s not just me, y’all…
When you look at the fine print, this weekend was a mix of everything I hate about being in a blended family. For starters, we didn’t have the kids this weekend (bummer). Then, I beat my husband to a cookout, and before he got there, all I got was questions about BM’s new boyfriend they all had seen on Facebook, and how quick it seemed for her to be getting serious. No worries, then my MIL chimed in to let everyone know BM & my husband’s timeline, and how quickly they got engaged and then married. I mean… she went into detail including exact proposal and wedding dates. Whew, I’m glad she cleared that up… *vomit*
We had a couple of conversations about how Kindergarten still hasn’t been sorted out for SD4. Logistical conversations are the worst, and when I feel the most powerless.
My husband had his share of what I call “unnecessary mentions” this weekend too. Referring to he and BM as “we” in talking about past experiences, referring to his wedding, but talking about his wedding to her, not to me… etc.
We all do these things. We all get nosy and ask intrusive questions. We all reference people or places from our past that we really don’t need to mention. I know I am guilty of unnecessarily mentioning BM a time or two [or 3,000] over the years. So I get it… no harm, no foul.
So let’s meet in the middle. We need to pick our battles. As stepparents, we have to tread lightly and understand that people (including ourselves) make mistakes. We cannot be overly sensitive… we must have thick skin for the war ahead of us. It is imperative that we meet in the middle, because that is the only way we can set a good example for our children. After all, that’s all that matters.
We also must aggressively fight for our families. We must remember that we will only be treated the way we allow others to treat us. We must stop comparing ourselves, and remember that sometimes first isn’t the best… sometimes last is the winner (Missing the Firsts but Saving the Best for Last– Source: stepparentmagazine.com).
And when all else fails, we need to push forward with the tenacity of Todd Chrisley– a strong example of a father in a blended family- and heed his advice:
Hang in there, friends! I’ll see you in the middle.