I’m training myself to wear headphones and listen to music at work. Most people in my office do this, and I have never understood how they do it… I think it distracts me from my work.
But nonetheless, here I am, wearing headphones, listening to Ed Sheeran “Shape of You” (obsessed) while at work. This is all because I’m trying to drown out the noise of one coworker. The one who literally never stops talking. The one who cannot answer an email without processing it out loud. The one who has worked here the longest, but needs to ask the most questions. The one who has lived an extremely sheltered 30+ years, and seems to have no real grasp of reality. Okay now I’m just being rude… I digress.
This got me thinking… I’ve been trying to wear my metaphorical headphones a lot lately. To drown out any and all negativity. To drown out the things that make me feel anxious. To drown out the possibility of an expensive therapist.
I know that I am in control of my reaction to events, and of my emotions, but man is it hard sometimes! I’m almost always in control of my reaction to things that upset me… I’m decent at keeping verbal outbursts contained… I call this “Grown-Up Ashley.” *applause* But my emotions get the best of me. Thanks, estrogen…
I have a few key measures in place to get my emotions back “in-check” once something happens out of my control… 1- vent to my safe people, 2- breathe, 3- take an ambien before bed. Solid plan, right?
Seriously though, I’ve been working hard at not emotionally overreacting to things that are out of my control. As a stepmom, there is a lot out of my control. There are a lot of false allegations that come out of BM, and a lot of harassment towards my husband. This is where my emotions get the best of me.
I don’t know if I will ever have complete control over my emotional reactions to things… Does anyone have this superpower?! If so, please enlighten me.
What I do know is that I can choose happiness. Every day. The things out of my control are just that. I have to take life day by day, and live in the moment. I never want to look back and think that I missed out on things because I was too caught up in the “what if’s” and the “but why’s.” I never want to miss out on quality time with my husband or our girls because I’m too wrapped up in my own thoughts. I want to be present, always.
So, I’m choosing to wear my metaphorical headphones more often. I’m drowning out the nonsense, and staying present with my life, with my family… with everything that matters.
And as for my coworker… Well, I’ll continue adapting to my real headphones to deal with her…