The Sisterless-Sister


I have one sibling… a half-sister who I did not grow up in the same home with. We have the same father, and neither of us have ever had a relationship with him. She’s three years older than me. Growing up, our Grandma brought us together once a month- the second Saturday of every month- and that was how we got to know each other, and our paternal relatives.

Don’t get me wrong, my sister is amazing. We have some really great moments. But we’re not best friends. She is not typically my go-to person for vent sessions or wine nights. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever had a drink together…

We have been there for each other through some tough times, and I would do anything for her. I think she would do anything for me as well. But we’re different people. So similar, but so different. And honestly I don’t even know some of the most basic things about her. I don’t know her favorite food, her favorite color, her favorite singer (even though I’m sure it’s a country artist), or what her personal or professional goals are. I have no clue about this woman who I share DNA with. My only sibling. My one “person” in this crazy family we have.

We currently live about 1 ½ hours apart from each other, and we try to get together with the kids every few months. My two girls plus her two girls (and a third on the way!) have the best time together. Her girls are the only cousins that my girls will ever have a shot at having a relationship with, as their maternal cousins live across the country. It’s important for me to foster a relationship among the girls, but is it weird to force it, when my sister and I aren’t even that close?

Is now the time to really focus on my relationship with my sister? I tend to back off from people when I am the only person putting forth any effort, but is my sister worth it? Is this our chance? While we are still young, and our kids are still young, and we still have so much time to cherish together? Should I end this period of feeling like a sisterless-sister once and for all?

Family, what a complicated, beautiful disaster.


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