My husband’s traveling for work, so naturally I’ve been on the computer more than usual… and I’m admittedly guilty of every millennial’s biggest technological flaw… going down the rabbit hole.
It started catching up on one of my regular TV shows, Nashville. *Spoiler if you’re not caught up* I was watching the episode where Scarlett has a miscarriage… so I was immediately up in my feels because, you know, babies.
After (or who am I kidding… probably during) the episode, I got on Instagram and seriously my entire “suggested” or “popular” page (whatever it’s called) was full of pregnant women. Y’all, for at least 6 weeks, I’ve been marking every picture on Instagram as “See Fewer Posts Like This” but here I am… still flooded with them. Great feature, Instagram… Glad to see you’ve got that one figured out… *eyeroll*
As I was flagging all of the pictures as “See Fewer Posts Like This,” I noticed a picture from Samantha Busch. Although I do not follow her, I know of her through NASCAR as Kyle Busch’s wife. I knew that they had a baby a couple of years ago… but what I didn’t know until I saw this picture was that they conceived through IVF! WHAT.
I’ve been looking into IVF basically since the day that my then-boyfriend told me he had a vasectomy. I’ve always brushed it off as unrealistic because of the price, and also the “I don’t know anyone who’s done this” factor.
Here’s where the rabbit hole really began…
I immediately went to her blog, which I used to have bookmarked but never really followed, and BAM there it all was… she literally blogged their entire fertility and IVF journey. What a blessing! There are detailed posts, YouTube videos… the whole works. Even more inspiring, I read about how they have created the Bundle of Joy Fund, where to date, they have helped 22 couples pay for their infertility treatments. How awesome is that!
Anyway, I decided to be a #CoolWife and text my husband… while he was out having some drinks with his colleagues… and let him know all about this. I’m sure that was exactly the text he wanted to receive in that setting. Good move, Ashley. Anyway, I’m sure there will be a conversation to follow upon his return.
After that #CoolWife fail, I decided to watch the next episode of Nashville. In this one, Scarlett was still grieving her loss (obviously), but what got me in this episode was Gunnar. *Again, spoiler if you’re not caught up* Gunnar was in his hometown reminiscing about his upbringing. He lost both parents at a young age, and was raised by his Grandma beginning around age 11, who was pretty cold towards him. Gunnar was processing that everyone he ever loves abandons him, and how no one in his family ever supported him or showed them they believed in him.
Y’all… I relate to this on so many levels. This definitely will be another post for another day. But I could 100% empathize with Gunnar when he sang The End. Let’s just call a spade a spade… Gunnar and I both have abandonment issues, for real. But here he is, laying out his [fictional character] emotions for the world to see…
So here I am, heading to bed in my feels, without my husband. It’s all good… tomorrow is a new day! But lesson [possibly] learned… don’t allow yourself to go down the rabbit hole! If there’s a topic that you’re trying to avoid, the Social Media God’s will make it appear.